As parents, we wish that our influence or our authority could always result in instant and lasting changes to our children’s behavior or outlook. Sometimes, real changes, the kind of changes that matter and create lasting habits, are changes that our children see a need for, initiate, and make their own. Other times, children need a coach to help guide them through the change process.

Are you “cut out” or “counted in?” As parents we want to be a positive influence when we help our children with homework or a daily life task. We want to know that we have not simply helped our child push through and get the assignment done, but more importantly, that our child has discovered something key about their strengths and challenges and that our child looks forward to returning to us for...