Back-to-school season always seems to bring a mix of emotions. There’s the excitement of a fresh start, but also the overwhelm of new routines, juggling schedules, and the mountain of paperwork that shows up every year. If you or your kids feel some dread or anxiety about the school year, you’re definitely not alone.
At Beyond BookSmart, we know that the good news is this: learning how to have a successful school year through stronger Executive Function skills is possible for both students and families. With a better understanding of Executive Function and how to strengthen it, you can make this school year smoother and more successful than years past. The content of this blog post is pulled from two of our free community and parent education webinars on Executive Functioning that were held over the summer of 2025. We always invite some of our brilliant Beyond BookSmart Executive Function coaches to join our panel for each webinar, including coach Amy McDuffie, who is one of the co-authors of this blog post.
Keep reading to learn why we should care about Executive Functioning, how stress can impact our school year experience, and we’ll share 8 tips for mastering Executive Functioning to have a successful school year.
Why Executive Function Matters
Executive Function skills are the “get things done” skills. They help us in every aspect of our days, and for students, they play a huge role in success in school. One of the biggest takeaways from our recent webinars, Back to School Relief and Your Kid’s Not Lazy, is that many of the struggles students face, such as procrastination, disorganization, forgetfulness, and difficulty focusing, aren’t about laziness (although it can seem this way!). They’re actually signs of Executive Function challenges.
The prefrontal cortex, or our “thinking brain,” is part of the brain responsible for Executive Function skills like planning, prioritizing, and regulating emotions and behavior. It continues developing well into a person’s late twenties, and sometimes not until age thirty! That means our school-aged kids are still actively building the skills that adults often take for granted. Shifting your perspective from “lazy” to “still learning” not only changes how you respond, but it also helps us understand our kids better and have more patience when we’re feeling challenged by their behavior. They will then pick up on your frustration, which may add to their already heightened stress levels. This stress directly impacts their Executive Functioning (and ours, too!).
How Stress Impacts Our Executive Functioning
Let’s take a closer look at how stress impacts our Executive Functioning. Because there’s so much happening at once, you might notice that both you and your kids are struggling more than usual with Executive Function skills. Maybe your kids feel nervous about the new school year, which makes it harder for them to manage big emotions. And for us parents, it can feel nearly impossible to keep everything organized and remember all the things on our plates. Just because our brains are finished developing doesn’t mean our own Executive Function skills are top-notch in every area.
Our Executive Functioning is challenged when we’re under pressure because of how our brains react to stress. The brain’s “emotional center”, made up partially of the amygdala and hypothalamus, kicks into gear. The amygdala constantly scans for threats, and when it detects one, it signals the hypothalamus to shift into fight, flight, or freeze mode. This is incredibly useful if we’re in real danger, but not so helpful when we’re just trying to get out the door mostly on time with lunches packed, forms signed, and sports equipment in tow. Unfortunately, our amygdala cannot determine a real threat from a perceived threat.
Another tricky thing about our brain’s survival response is that the emotional brain pulls resources away from our prefrontal cortex that we’re using for planning, organization, self-control, and more. That’s why, in moments of stress, even simple tasks can suddenly feel overwhelming. As parents, having children in school adds an entire level of complexity to our lives. At our Back to School webinar, I asked parents to share what words come to mind when thinking about the back to school season. The word cloud is full of a mixture of emotions, with excitement and overwhelm being the most mentioned.
Things that are exciting can also feel overwhelming, and by leaning on our Executive Function skills, we can find support and solutions. This is not always easy, though! Let’s take a look at eight different strategies we can use to make it a little easier to get through the school year and avoid that overwhelm.
8 Executive Function Strategies for a Strong School Year
1. Reframe “Laziness” as Executive Function Challenges
When our kids appear scattered, sloppy, irresponsible, or lazy, that’s the behavior, the tip of the iceberg. Beneath the surface lurk the real causes of their time blindness, trouble planning ahead, or difficulty managing emotions - skill gaps in the related Executive Function areas. Naming these behaviors as caused by gaps in Executive Function makes it easier to problem-solve, identify what might help, and relieve some of the guilt our kids may be feeling for struggling when everyone else seems to just “get it”. Kids with Executive Dysfunction may begin to build a negative narrative in their heads, and if they hear words like “lazy” used to describe them, they may begin to believe it, which can cause a vicious cycle that limits their ability to thrive. Let’s help them understand the reasons they struggle and make sure they don’t believe they’re “lazy”.
2. Tame Stress to Boost Brainpower
Stress drains the very resources kids need to think clearly, focus, and get things done. Teaching simple regulation tools can make a huge difference and help both kids and adults manage difficult emotions and situations. Two of our favorites are box breathing (inhale for a count of 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, repeat) or the “hand on heart” strategy, which helps calm the nervous system so we can access our thinking brain again.
Something to Try: Hand on Heart
Sitting comfortably, rest your hand (or hands) over your heart. Close your eyes and notice your hand rising and falling on your chest. Give yourself a small pep talk, such as, “I’ve got this!” or “I can do hard things!”. Take another breath and open your eyes again.
3. Build Structure with Routines and Calendars
Early in the school year, routines can feel chaotic, but getting control of your routines can make a big difference. Calendars, which are available in many useful formats, including digital, paper, or dry-erase, help ground everyone and get everyone on the same page, so to speak. Make them visible, use them together, and model the habit by saying things like, “Can you add that to the calendar so we both remember?” Over time, this builds independence without constant reminders. In Hannah’s family, they have a weekly family meeting where they add events to a dry-erase calendar that gets hung on the refrigerator. In Amy’s family, they use shared Google calendars, which is especially helpful now that her son is off to college.
4. Conquer Time Blindness
Many students struggle to understand how long things actually take. Tools like timers, Budgeted vs. Actual (estimating time vs. real time), or even analog clocks can help students begin to map time more accurately. Making time as visual as possible can make a big difference for kids with time blindness. We love Time Timers, a visual timer that is great for all ages. Timers and stopwatches are multipurpose tools and can also be used for task initiation challenges! A simple starter strategy that is beloved by all of our Beyond BookSmart coaches is “5-Minute Goals.” If you or your child are feeling rebellious or bored and don't want to do the work, try setting a timer for 5 minutes to see what can get done in those 5 minutes. If anxiety or feeling unsure about the thing you plan to do is stopping you from getting started, try starting a stopwatch and see if you can make it to 5 minutes. In either situation, once you’ve worked for 5 minutes, see if you can do another. This helps build the necessary momentum for continuing the task.
5. Start Small with Low-Stakes Activities
It can be tempting to think that Executive Function skills can only be learned in academic work, but there are infinite opportunities to practice them in non-academic settings. In our Your Kid’s Not Lazy webinar, coach Jeanette Wilson shared this observation about how Executive Function learning opportunities show up in more than just academics. If kids are resisting practicing skills for academics,
“You could start off somewhere else, and then kids start to notice that, ‘Oh, my life improved here. I was actually able to participate in my football practice today because I remembered my cleats. I was actually able to do this because of something else.’ Then, eventually, the hope, and what typically happens, is your kid will translate that to other aspects of their life, which does also include academics.”6. Break Big Tasks Into Small Steps
Large assignments can feel overwhelming, but learning how to break them into smaller steps can really help. Try helping kids break their work into smaller, manageable pieces, then figure out when they’ll do each step, and then place those steps on a calendar. This can help kids get clarity on what they need to do, which helps them see a path forward instead of shutting down. As adults, we can use this tool, too! Both Hannah and Amy use this strategy to get going on tasks that feel too big.
Something to Try: Brain Dump
Grab a piece of paper and a pen or the Notes app on your phone, and think about the big project or assignment you need to do. Begin writing down everything you can think of about that task. You could include the individual steps, how you're feeling about it, things you might need to complete it, and people you might need to ask for help. Getting it all out of your head and onto paper where you can see it can help get your plan organized.
7. Encourage Reflection and Self-Awareness
Metacognition, the ability to reflect on what works and what doesn’t, is a powerful EF skill. It’s the self-awareness skill that helps us move the needle on actually making changes to how we do things. Encourage kids to reframe past mistakes as lessons rather than failures. As coach John Osborne shared in our Back to School webinar, we can create a “highlight reel” of accomplishments to counter negative self-talk and do that reframing. He says, “We all have a highlight reel, and referring to our highlight reels can put things into perspective. These tools help the students with their metacognition skills.” Remember: finding the way to do something is often more effective than trying to summon endless willpower. If we get good at metacognitive thinking, we can use what we observe to help us find the way forward.
8. Model and Collaborate
Kids learn EF skills best when they see them in action. Invite them to plan your week with you, brainstorm solutions together when you forget something, or connect Executive Function skills they already use in favorite activities (like Minecraft or crocheting) to schoolwork. Be careful not to make everything a life lesson in Executive Functioning! They can start to tune us out when we do this too often. Providing scaffolding for our kids as they learn these skills can also make a big difference. Perhaps we model first, then move to sitting alongside them to help, and then gradually stepping back as they build confidence. It can be excruciatingly slow as parents to watch, but we promise, as they learn, it’ll start to show!
The Takeaway
Executive function skills are the foundation of a successful school year, for both students and parents. They help kids manage emotions, stay organized, and follow through on their goals, and they help families feel calmer and connected in the process. These skills don’t appear overnight, but with consistent practice and the right support, they can grow stronger over time.
If you’re looking for more personalized guidance, Executive Function coaching can support your family not just at the start of the school year, but all the way through and even beyond the classroom. Coaching provides tools, strategies, and encouragement tailored to your child’s needs, helping them build confidence and independence while taking some of the stress off your shoulders.
Ready to see how coaching can help your family thrive this year? Learn more about our coaching services here.