How To Parent A Child With ADHD: Helpful Tips For Parents
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Feb 19, 2020
Editor’s note: This week, we feature guest blogger Lisa Gurdin of LSGurdin Consulting. Please read more about Lisa below.
One of the hardest parts of being a parent is realizing that your child will not always listen to what you say just because you say it. This is a tough nugget to swallow. Shouldn’t children just listen to their parents? Isn’t it just enough to say, “Because I said so.”? I first realized this with my tantruming 2-year old every time we left the playground, toy store, or a playdate. I re-learned this when my middle schooler responded to my directives by walking away from me. I have heard parents complain that in response to their instructions, their child talks back, says no, or says nothing at all. Regardless of the specific response, the behavior leaves us parents feeling frustrated and angry.
The problem is, when we express those intense feelings at that moment, we make the situation worse. Wait...don’t we have the right to show our disapproval and anger at our child’s disregard and disrespect for our instructions? The problem is that once we engage our children in a verbal discussion or argument, it becomes a power struggle. Once the struggle starts, we have already lost the battle. We have completely given up our power. The question is, how do we regain our parenting power?
Here are some ideas for avoiding the power struggle and increasing the likelihood that your child will respond to your directive by simply saying “ok.”
Sometimes, a little adjustment in our parenting approach can be enough to improve our child’s compliance while creating a positive relationship founded on mutual respect and communication. But be patient with yourself. Doing things differently takes time and practice. The goal is not perfection. The goal is to make progress and experience improvement over time.
For over 17 years, Lisa Gurdin has been working with students, families, and school-based professionals as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) and Licensed Applied Behavior Analyst in Massachusetts. She runs LSGurdin Consulting in Boston, MA. Ms. Gurdin earned her master’s degree in Applied Behavior Analysis from Northeastern University, where she is a part-time lecturer.
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For over 17 years, Lisa Gurdin has been working with students, families, and school-based professionals as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) and Licensed Applied Behavior Analyst in Massachusetts. She runs LSGurdin Consulting in Boston, MA. Ms. Gurdin earned her master’s degree in Applied Behavior Analysis from Northeastern University, where she is a part-time lecturer.
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