How To Parent A Child With ADHD: Helpful Tips For Parents
It’s often said that there’s nothing that can fully prepare you for becoming a p...
It’s often said that there’s nothing that can fully prepare you for becoming a p...
You'll find a million time management tips and strategies with a simple Google s...
"My kid has ADHD and I can't seem to get them to do anything without constant re...
Mar 31, 2020
Editor’s note: This week, we feature guest blogger Dr. Jane Greenstein, a licensed psychologist in MA. Please read more about Dr. Greenstein below.
These are difficult times for everyone. Between coronavirus fears, quarantine, school closings, and financial uncertainty, we are in uncharted territory. It’s hard to manage worries about the future when so much is unknown. It’s hard maintaining a sense of normalcy when we have lost the structures of our typical lives. It’s hard juggling responsibilities for ourselves, our households, and (if we are fortunate) our jobs. For those with children in the home, you have to do this while also looking after their physical, emotional, and intellectual well-being. And for caregivers of children and teens with significant attention control weakness, this already demanding reality is made more challenging by the degree of support your kid needs to complete tasks, even under the best of circumstances.
Those with ADHD and other attention disorders have difficulty not with attention per se, but with attention control. This means that they can certainly pay attention to something that is of interest to them. In fact, individuals with ADHD can become hyper-focused (video games for hours, sound familiar?). But sustaining attention for non-preferred tasks or switching attention from one task to another is quite a different matter. Since attention control is also required when developing, initiating, and sticking to a plan, completing complex multi-step activities (cleaning their room, finishing a school project) can be particularly difficult.
Not a great match for the independent, self-directed learning and hygiene expectations that we now are faced with while staying at home day-after-day, right? Often our instinct is to talk at our ADHD kids until they do what they need to do, or to establish a highly detailed schedule that we closely supervise. Yet often when parents or other caregivers try to help ensure follow-through and task completion, older kids and teens push back and conflict ensues! Here are some key principles to keep in mind as you work to support your kid while maintaining harmony and leaving time for everything else you have on your plate as well:
Whatever you do to support your child with attention challenges, they need to always know that you love them for who they are, not what they do. Be patient and supportive; this reality is especially hard for them. When your kid does something well, praise, praise, praise! When they aren’t successful with something, do an emotionally neutral “debrief” together to figure out what worked, what didn’t, and why. This applies to you, too. Give yourself credit for your parenting successes and forgive yourself when things don’t work well the first time.
So play the long-game; remember that skill development is a process. This takes the weight off each individual moment. And keep in mind that this is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself. Keeping this mindset will help you remember to make time for the fun that we all need, now more than ever.
Dr. Jane Greenstein is a licensed psychologist with a private practice in diagnostic assessment of learning challenges including ADHD, dyslexia, and other specific learning disorders. Using a neuropsychological approach, she helps families and schools gain clarity about why a student is struggling and what to do about it. A graduate of Princeton University and the University of Virginia, she has been working with school-age children, adolescents, and young adults in collaboration with educators for over 20 years. Dr. Greenstein has extensive experience in diagnostic assessment, behavioral interventions, child development, and special education systems in schools. She also is a parent of two young adults.
In this book, parents will find enlightening tips and tools from a lifelong educator and expert in Executive Function intervention - and reassurance that your kids will be okay when equipped with the skills they need today and for the future.
Dr. Jane Greenstein is a licensed psychologist with a private practice in diagnostic assessment of learning challenges including ADHD, dyslexia, and other specific learning disorders. Using a neuropsychological approach, she helps families and schools gain clarity about why a student is struggling and what to do about it. A graduate of Princeton University and the University of Virginia, she has been working with school-age children, adolescents, and young adults in collaboration with educators for over 20 years. Dr. Greenstein has extensive experience in diagnostic assessment, behavioral interventions, child development, and special education systems in schools. She also is a parent of two young adults.
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